Marriage and the Will of God

Marriage and the Will of God

A few thoughts on marriage and “shacking up”

The concept of marriage begins as early as Adam and Eve. In Gen. 2:23-24 just after the creation of man God takes a rib from Adam in order to create woman. Listen carefully to what God says, “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. (v.24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. God says in verse 24 (quoted by Paul in Eph. 5:31) that the reason for leaving home is to be united to a wife or husband. God just created marriage and says it occurs when we leave our parental home and choose to live with someone of the opposite sex. And then, throughout the Bible He will use this relationship to help us understand our relationship to Him.

Look at the New Testament comparison of the marriage union to the relationship we have with Christ. In Paul’s letter to the Church at Ephesus he explains in more detail how the marriage union is used to exemplify the relationship Christ has with His Church. Ephesians 5:28-32 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (v.29) For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (v.30) For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. (v.31) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (v.32) This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Living together outside of marriage violates God’s design and purpose for marriage.

The marriage ‘ceremony’ has changed many times over the years but the concept is always the same, one man chooses to live with one woman for an entire lifetime. So whether we are joined in marriage by a ceremony or if we choose to live together without man’s legal approval (like Adam and Eve and those who followed after, what we call common law marriage) before God we are seen as married when we choose to live together. So, if it is not a person’s intent to be married then they should not live together. Since it is without doubt that the sexual union reserved for marriage will be actively engaged in. And because it was God’s original intent to have the union of two people create a home and family…marriage.

Whenever two people are involved in a sexual situation outside of marriage it is called adultery or

fornication in the Bible (one of the Ten Commandments: Exodus 20:14 “Thou shalt not commit

adultery.”) And living together will almost always produce sexual situations. So, from a

practical sense living together will produce fornication as long as men are men. To think otherwise is to be very naïve. We were expected to leave our parent’s home when we were ready to begin our own

families (Gen. 2:23-24), it was viewed as a marriage union. We were to leave one home and join with a lifetime partner (husband or wife) to begin another home.

Today we leave home to ‘try out’ a few possible partners? The Bible tells us to love, not to tryout a few and see if we can find one we might be able to love. At a time when marriages were arranged, men and women were commanded to love the person that they were placed in a marriage with by their parents (or other guardian), Eph. 5:21-27 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Eph 5:22-27 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (v.23) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body (v.24). Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. (v.25) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (v.26)That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, (v.27) That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”

Today’s mania of living together is a disaster. It violates God’s will and commands as we see above

and it creates a false sense of security. We assume that by living together we increase our chance at a happy marriage by getting to know the person so much better first. God is never wrong and He gave us the method which He said would work best. It has been proven time and again that the divorce rate is not reduced by living together first. Living together is nothing more than a waste of one’s youth and a violation of God’s will. Also, it places each person in the unenviable position of being an adulterer/fornicator when a godly individual does begin to show very serious interest them.   

     Many social and psychological issues are also created when two people choose to live together without the bonds of marriage. It is not the intent of this piece to go into those issues but it should be kept in mind that they are many and serious. However, the Biblical issues alone are sufficient to sound the clarion call to holy matrimony. God’s way is always best. 

Not doing it God’s way: 

1) increases the chance of divorce,

2) decreases the chance of finding a godly mate when one does begin to look,

3) violates the imagery God has given to us to define our relationship to Him,

4) causes a person to live daily in a sinful relationship with God as a fornicator or adulterer/adulteress. 

On the other hand, following God’s plan for marriage: 

1) places a person in right standing with God allowing His blessings to flow freely,

2) increases the opportunity of finding a godly mate,

3) opens the door of understanding concerning Christ and the Church,

4) reduces the chance of divorce if we continue to follow His plan for marriage in our daily homes.

God’s way is always best, and always produces the sweetest fruit.