Why is it so Hard to Forgive

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FORGIVE?

I suppose all of us have been wronged at one time or another in life. Sometimes the wrong is superficial enough that we can smile, offer our forgiveness and walk away. Still, at times even that wrong will find its way back into our thoughts. But we can manage to move it out of our conscious thinking and gloss it over sufficiently that it does not eat away at us.

However, some wrongs seem so much bigger than others. It seems forgiveness is alien to humanity. Our flesh, our human nature, seems to cry out for vengeance, justice and recompense. If we do not see the one who so terribly wronged us suffering as a direct result of their deeds something inside of us seems to fester and boil with anger. Our imagination, if left unchecked, will create imaginary scenes in which the justice we believe them to deserve is finally met in all of its terror. There is a part of our nature that just will not rest until we see our offender paying for his crimes against us. If they wronged us, they must be punished. Or so our old nature insists.

But we have a new nature. The penalty for sin has been paid (Romans 5:8-10) and we have been born anew into God’s family (Romans 8:16, 17). Before God, we are forgiven and heaven is our current abode. But we still live here and this flesh is still wrapped around us (Romans 7:18-25). We battle a daily fight against a corrupt old nature (Romans 6) and it isn’t easy.

Forgiveness is the primary question here, but we could name many other besetting sins that we battle on an all too frequent basis. How to win that battle can be stated simply, but implementation can be an agonizing road. We must change the way we think. Paul stated it best in Phillipians 2:5, “For let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, (v.6) who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God, (v.7) but made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Himself the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men. (v.8) And being found in fashion as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.) We need the mind of Christ. That is a daily pursuit; a struggle against the flesh and its desire to dominate in our lives. Jesus was God. It was the simple fact of nature that he was in every way equal to God. Instead of exercising that position, he chose the position of servant, the servant of men. Instead of honor, he chose humility. Instead of Glory and praise he chose, “death on the cross.”

Forgiveness is a choice. It is a choice which goes against our very nature, our old nature. But if we seek to have the mind of Christ daily, if we actively pursue the imitation of his nature in our lives (it is a choice Romans 6-7) we can gain the victory. Some of that understanding can come by realization of what he did for us. Our sin against God was in every respect worse than anything any human could ever do against us. Yet, God forgave us (Psalm 103:12) and removed all memory of our offense. Can we dare to hold accountable one who offends us in the affairs of this fleeting world. And consider too, our forgiving them could be what leads them to God’s forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean we will never remember the event ever again. It means we will not harbor the anger, the bitterness, and the feelings of vengeance once so dearly caressed in our hearts. It is hard to forgive because forgiveness is divine and we are human. But in our new nature we have, as Christ lives in us, a new and divine nature capable of forgiveness if we seek the mind of Christ on a daily basis.