Why is it so Hard to Forgive

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FORGIVE?

I suppose all of us have been wronged at one time or another in life. Sometimes the wrong is superficial enough that we can smile, offer our forgiveness and walk away. Still, at times even that wrong will find its way back into our thoughts. But we can manage to move it out of our conscious thinking and gloss it over sufficiently that it does not eat away at us.

However, some wrongs seem so much bigger than others. It seems forgiveness is alien to humanity. Our flesh, our human nature, seems to cry out for vengeance, justice and recompense. If we do not see the one who so terribly wronged us suffering as a direct result of their deeds something inside of us seems to fester and boil with anger. Our imagination, if left unchecked, will create imaginary scenes in which the justice we believe them to deserve is finally met in all of its terror. There is a part of our nature that just will not rest until we see our offender paying for his crimes against us. If they wronged us, they must be punished. Or so our old nature insists.

But we have a new nature. The penalty for sin has been paid (Romans 5:8-10) and we have been born anew into God’s family (Romans 8:16, 17). Before God, we are forgiven and heaven is our current abode. But we still live here and this flesh is still wrapped around us (Romans 7:18-25). We battle a daily fight against a corrupt old nature (Romans 6) and it isn’t easy.

Forgiveness is the primary question here, but we could name many other besetting sins that we battle on an all too frequent basis. How to win that battle can be stated simply, but implementation can be an agonizing road. We must change the way we think. Paul stated it best in Phillipians 2:5, “For let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, (v.6) who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God, (v.7) but made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Himself the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men. (v.8) And being found in fashion as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.) We need the mind of Christ. That is a daily pursuit; a struggle against the flesh and its desire to dominate in our lives. Jesus was God. It was the simple fact of nature that he was in every way equal to God. Instead of exercising that position, he chose the position of servant, the servant of men. Instead of honor, he chose humility. Instead of Glory and praise he chose, “death on the cross.”

Forgiveness is a choice. It is a choice which goes against our very nature, our old nature. But if we seek to have the mind of Christ daily, if we actively pursue the imitation of his nature in our lives (it is a choice Romans 6-7) we can gain the victory. Some of that understanding can come by realization of what he did for us. Our sin against God was in every respect worse than anything any human could ever do against us. Yet, God forgave us (Psalm 103:12) and removed all memory of our offense. Can we dare to hold accountable one who offends us in the affairs of this fleeting world. And consider too, our forgiving them could be what leads them to God’s forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean we will never remember the event ever again. It means we will not harbor the anger, the bitterness, and the feelings of vengeance once so dearly caressed in our hearts. It is hard to forgive because forgiveness is divine and we are human. But in our new nature we have, as Christ lives in us, a new and divine nature capable of forgiveness if we seek the mind of Christ on a daily basis.

Decide Daily to be a Christian

Decide Daily to be a Christian

Have you “chosen” to be a Christian? Many would shout out a hardy “YES” if you were asked whether or not you have been saved. If I were to inquire as to when you were born again it is certain most could give the day and maybe even the time when God saved them. Which, if you truly placed your faith in His finished work on the cross (Romans 10:9-13), would certainly indicate you have been born again. But are you a Christian? Read carefully the following passage. I could supply many very much like this one but I have chosen this specifically for verse twenty six. But please read the entire passage.

Act 11:19-26  Now they which were scattered abroad upon the persecution that arose about Stephen travelled as far as Phenice, and Cyprus, and Antioch, preaching the word to none but unto the Jews only. (v.20) And some of them were men of Cyprus and Cyrene, which, when they were come to Antioch, spake unto the Grecians, preaching the Lord Jesus. (v.21) And the hand of the Lord was with them: and a great number believed, and turned unto the Lord. (v.22) Then tidings of these things came unto the ears of the church which was in Jerusalem: and they sent forth Barnabas, that he should go as far as Antioch. (v.23) Who, when he came, and had seen the grace of God, was glad, and exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord. (v.24) For he was a good man, and full of the Holy Ghost and of faith: and much people was added unto the Lord. (v.25) Then departed Barnabas to Tarsus, for to seek Saul: (v.26) and when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch. 

Why were they called Christians in Antioch? They suffered persecution for their faith (v.19). They shared their faith (v.20-21). Barnabas witnessed a change in them (v.22-23) as the grace of God became evident in their daily lives. Barnabas went to fetch Paul and bring him back to Antioch because of their eagerness to hear the Word of God preached (v.24-26a). The change in the lives of these believers was so real the community mocked them for acting like Jesus Christ; they called them Christians.

Today, I fear too many of us strive to blend in, to not seem like a fanatic. We try so very hard to live within the confines of scriptural mandates while still trying to act like the rest of the world so as not to seem like a religious nut. In this, Satan has found one of his greatest victories.

They were called Christians in Antioch because they acted like Jesus. They suffered persecution (v.19), they shared their faith openly (v.20-21), there were real changes in their lives, they didn’t just fit in (v.22-23), they acted like Jesus, and they loved to hear the Word of God preached (v.24-26a). When Paul talked about the average believer in II Corinthians 5:17 he said, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” Paul was saying we need to be like those in Antioch, we need to be Christ-like-ones.

When we get saved everything is new. Sadly, many will squelch those changes as quickly as possible. We do not want to be ridiculed, or mocked. The very thought of our friends, relatives or even our work associates laughing at us or even the chance that they may view us as some kind of religious nut is more than we can handle. That is why so much of the New Testament is dedicated to instructions in how to live a godly life. That part of salvation comes separately. It is a daily choice. Every morning when we awaken we must decide, not whether we will be saved again, but whether we will live like Jesus today.

We make a decision when we see our need of salvation. We decide to come to Christ for salvation. We pray and ask him to save us. But, what about the next morning? What about 2 months or 2 years from now? Salvation happens one time only and we are eternally secure. But what about the Christian life? We, as Christians, will be judged for how we have lived (I Corinthians 3:11ff). But more importantly, one day we will come to the realization that our fear of embarrassment and ridicule caused our witness to die in silence. Our testimony for Christ was never heard by those we loved most. I fear we will see the judgment of the lost and realize that our loved ones might have been won to Christ had we not been so afraid of being called a Christian.

We can be saved and not be a Christian. It is a daily choice.